I need a moment to be completely transparent with you guys. I was going through a lot last month. Something unexpected happened in Nashville that I rather not discuss because I am completely embarrassed about the matter. Secondly, My brand new car got rear ended by a horrible Nashville driver ( a hit and run at my apartments). Lastly, later in the month my uncle passed away. I personally believe that bad things happens in threes, well, in my life any ways.
What’s rather odd but normal, is that I was acting as if everything was okay. I clocked in and out of work as normal. I smiled and said bye to my coworkers, but while driving back home I wouldn’t feel right. When I got home, I would just cry until I fell asleep. I was not okay with my life last month. Nothing seemed to be going my way, really. A storm literally hit my life and continued to throw thunderbolts daily. I continued to act like everything was okay. I pretty much used work to keep my mind off of things. Temporarily it worked. No one knew that I was not okay except for a few people that I keep near and dear to my heart.
However, my question is to why do we act like everything is okay when it isn’t? Why do we paint false images on social media when nothing is okay? It is like we are afraid to be human. We want to be perfect. We want to be seen as perfect and I have to say it is tiring to act as such. No one can relate to perfection. Being transparent is what helps others. Your testimony is what God wants us to share. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel emotionally numb for a day. It is okay to feel anger for a few minutes, but you have to continue to keep it moving.
Myleik Teele twitted something that helped me during these bad times.
She tweeted “Every now and then I doubt my abilities. Normal. One thing I don’t do is stand still in doubt. I doubtfully MOVE. Must keep it moving.”
In my doubt, hurt, and confusion, I was not moving forward. I was sitting in self-pity. This month my focus is moving forward, doing things that I love unapologetically, and finding my own ounce of happiness on this earth. With everything going on in this world, we must move forward.
The Lord said in Jeremiah 29:11-14,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, “declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
If in doubt or worry, Go to God. Especially, with everything that is wearing us down daily in this world.
Love you beautiful people and God bless.